Yesterday I had a conversation with a good friend of mine about life. She said that if she did not have a son in college that she was paying for, she would sell her house, leave town and start new someplace else. I woke up this morning thinking about that conversation. From 1991 to 2004 I moved six times. My present home is the longest I have ever stayed in one place since 1991. I have lived here now for nine years. I love the city I live in, and I can see myself living here for the rest of my earthly life, however, I am not absolutely sure that I want to.
I do like having a home base, but deep down in my heart I also love adventure. I find starting over in a new location quite thrilling. When I moved to my present city my mother said to me in exasperation that she hopes I stay here and never move again. She has had it with me moving. My friends used to tease me saying that they could not write down my contact information using a pen. They had to use a pencil because it seemed like I was always moving. It was all said in jest, but it was true.
This time It will not be so easy because I have a very strong emotional attachment to my house. If it were not for that fact, there is a good chance that I would be plotting my next adventure right now. Having an emotional attachment to your house may seem strange, but for me, I have always believed that your home or apartment should be the one place that you LOVE to return home to at the end of the day. It should be a place where you find profound peace, beauty, comfort and joy. If it is not, then it is time to evaluate why that is and fix it. If it is a person then maybe it is time to let them go. If it is the neighborhood, find a new one. If it does not look the way you would like, then take the time to make it that way. The bottom line for me is that home should be my sanctuary. Anything less is simply not acceptable.
All of my apartments in the past and my first house in the Catskill Mountains met my criteria. I made them all beautiful places to come home to and I brought my sunny disposition into them. However, I was still able to muster up the excitement of moving on to the next adventure. Living in this house though, I find that I never want to leave it. I love being home. Even on weekends my friends have to almost drag me out. I feel that If I want to go outside, I only need open up the back door and go out into my garden which makes me smile.
For about four straight months early in 2012, I went through a period where I literally could not stand going out. Each week I could not wait for Friday to get here because that meant I did not have to go to work and I could enjoy my home. I felt that I had all I needed inside my house (except for that special man, of course). I hope that you can understand what I am saying.
When I do get out with my friends I always have a great time with them. We have a lot of laughs and we love to shop. I have gotten a lot better about going out, but home is where my heart always is. I got up this morning very early as usual (4:30am). It had been raining very hard all night. I went to the kitchen window, opened it and stood there listening to the rain. It was such a quiet and peaceful few minutes. I could smell the wet grass and my roses. Did you know that wet grass can smell beautiful? I love listening to it rain very early in the morning when everyone else is asleep.
I know that I will not be going anyplace for a while. I have to finish my studies first. If I get a permanent job I will be staying a lot longer (maybe the rest of my earthly life). If I don’t, then I am going to open myself up to all possibilities and begin the process of letting go emotionally of this house. If I created such a sanctuary for myself here I can do it again in another house. I need to think about doing work that will allow me to do it from home so that I can live anywhere.
I decided that when I do go off on my next adventure, I will leave the state. For as much moving around as I have done, I have never left the state. I am very opened to leaving the country as well. Many times I have thought of where I would love to go. Here are the contenders, so far.
- Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
- Lake Champlain in Vermont
- Memphis, Tennessee
- New Mexico
- Louisiana ( I would love to get one of those “shot-gun” houses)
- Washington State
- The English countryside
- Anyplace in Italy
I believe in truly embracing life! Anything less is simply, not acceptable.
Heaven is right here where you are NOW!