Sexting or Posing for Nude Photos: Please Rethink It

SextingI think that we all know what sexting is, but in case you don’t, sexting is sending nude and/or provocative photos of yourself through your mobile phone.  I got the idea for this post when one of my Facebook friends posted an article from the Huffington post.  You can read it HERE.  In the article the woman allowed her ex-boyfriend to take nude pictures of her.



I know that I can be very naive, even still at my age, but I am floored that sexting is such a popular thing to do.   Why in hell would anyone send nude photos of themselves via cell or email knowing full well that it can be copied and pasted and end up anyplace on the internet?  Somebody PLEASE explain this freaking sh*t to me.  Additionally, if you allow your boyfriend to take nude photos of you, they are his property and if you are over 18, you are over the age of consent, so you most likely will not get much help from law enforcement.

sexting1Revenge porn is quite prevalent.  So many females have been humiliated by ex-boyfriends who posted nude photos of them on the internet.  I remember reading many years ago an article in Redbook magazine that stayed with me for years.  This is something that happened to a women long before the sexting craze began.  The woman began a relationship with a co-worker.  He liked to not only take nude photos of her, but one day he wanted to film her performing oral sex on him.  She didn’t really want to do it, but as women do too often, we agree to things to make him happy, even if it goes against out personal values.  Anyway, after dating for quite some time, she decided to end the relationship because it was not really working for her.  He did not want to end their relationship and became very upset.  To get back at her he started posting those nude photos of her online, including her name and address.  She found out when strange men started showing up at her apartment.   The authorities were really no help because she consented to the photos.  If that was not bad enough he emailed the video of her performing oral sex on him to her parents.  OMG!  Of course you could not see his face, but there was clear view of her face and body kneeling down and sucking on his penis.  He could deny that it was his penis since his face was not on film.  The ordeal this woman went through with this ex-boyfriend was horrific and lasted over a year.   I tried to find this Redbook article so that you can read it for yourself but it doesn’t seem to be out there.  It goes back to the early 1990’s.


I remember a woman who was a co-worker at a work assignment I was on about 7 years ago.  She told me about a man she dated many years before who she allowed to take provocative photos of her.  Even though it was a very long time ago, it is always in the back of her mind that those photos could end up on the internet one day.

The taking of nude photos is not anything new.  Long before the internet many people engaged in this sort of thing, but you did not have the likelihood of those pictures making its way around the world.   Women of all ages, we need to be smarter than that and we need to develop the self estimate required to know that we don’t have to resort to posing nude or being filmed having sex in order to keep a man interested in us.  Stand up for what you believe in and know that you are worth much more.   Among the younger generation sexting is seen as cool.  You have got to be kidding me.

sexting3Do you know that thee are websites for guys to post nude photos of their ex-girlfriends?  Don’t put yourself in the position to be a casualty.


What would I think if a man sent a nude picture of him to my iPhone?  Well, he would not have to worry about me posting it online because I would delete it.  That kind of thing doesn’t turn me on and in fact I would feel a bit disrespected.  That is simply not the level of relationship that I am interested in.

If you are a man posting nude photos of ex-girlfriends online, your karma will come.


no sexting


  1. Trudy Brasure says:

    Amen! This is just another way for women to demean themselves in our society. Wake up, girls, and think for yourselves. I hate to see women think that the best they have to offer of themselves is just the fleshy parts we all have. Where’s the love and good in sharing such photos? Nowhere that I can see. I’ve never let my husband take pictures of me. There’s no way I’d want the photos to be found by anyone else – ever!!! What is meant to be private and meaningful is turned to common trash these days. So sad.

    • Xenia says:

      I am glad that you mentioned not allowing your husband to take nude pictures of you. I meant to include in this blog post that if I was married I would not pose nude for my husband either. If you don’t do at all, you never have to be concerned.

      • P. says:

        Just stumbled upon this post. I knew what texting is (I believe is also includes sending sexually tinted text messages, not just images btw) and I never understood it either. I understand taking sexy photos of one another, in the privacy of your home, for personal enjoyment. That can be pretty sensual actually (I did it once, but nothing porny or explicit like you described. Deleted the photos shortly afterwards though!)
        But you NEVER EVER email them or use a mobile phone to send them! Are these girls/women insanely naieve? Have they no clue how the internet works, that stuff stays around forever? I think that particular case you described was very extreme, with the guy even sending it to her parents (I mean, seriously? This guy was a freak to begin with, obviously!), but things like this happen when men (or indeed women, it can go the other way as well with a man being humiliated in this way) want to take revenge.
        I just say; people, don’t give anyone the means to hurt you like that. Knock yourself out if you want to be a bit naughty together (I’m very open-minded so I think couples can do as they please with mutual consent, taking pictures or whatever it is they’re into), but make sure everything stays withing the four walls of your home and not floating around online somehwere. Especially younger girls/teens should be made aware, they’re so used to social media, smartphones etc. that I’m afraid they’ve lost the sense that things don’t go away once they’re out there in the virtual world.
        Anyway, interesting post! (even though, again, I’m a bit late to read it 🙂

        • Xenia says:

          Better late to reading the post than never….hee hee haa haa!

          I am aware that sexting is also sending sexually explicit text messages. I should have included that aspect of it in my post as well.
          Thanks for pointing that out.

          • P. says:

            You don’t have an archive with links to older posts, so I’m finding them quite randomly now. Maybe you could include something like that on your blog, so people can easily find your older posts?

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